How to Handle Disrespectful Behavior in Children: Real-Life Example and Parenting Tips

As a parent coach, I often observe parents allowing their children to speak to them disrespectfully without enforcing proper consequences. Here’s a recent incident my wife and I experienced.

My wife and I stopped at one of our favorite pizza places for dinner. As the waitress was seating us, we walked past a table with a boy (about 7 years old) and his mother on one side, and his father on the other.

As we passed by, I heard the boy say to his mother, “I told you to shut up.” The mother replied, “Bobby, we don’t talk that way.” Bobby looked at his mother again and said, “I’m not telling you again, shut up.” The father sat quietly, saying nothing, and the mother did nothing to discipline Bobby for the way he spoke to her.

I was stunned. I wanted to give my business card to the parents, but my wife said, “That would not be a good idea,” so I ended up sitting with her at our table.

I considered different ways I might have handled this “angelic little boy” and his attitude. None of my ideas would have kept him sitting at the table eating his pizza, and none would have involved “Children Services” coming to my door.

I’m a strong supporter of natural and logical consequences. I wish I had the chance to teach the parents above how to implement these techniques.

For example, a logical consequence would have been to get up and leave. I would have brought the pizza home for myself, and my son would have eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Another consequence could have been a “delayed consequence.” For example, we would have left, and the following week, my wife and I would have gone to our son’s favorite restaurant. We would have let him know which restaurant we planned to attend. We would then have told him that, because of his misbehavior at the restaurant, he would be staying at home with a babysitter, and no electronics would be allowed that night.

Sometimes, delayed consequences can be a powerful tool when kids misbehave in public.

If your child's behavior becomes disrespectful or unmanageable, please don't hesitate to contact me so we can discuss how to implement my preferred discipline strategies with your child.